What is that one emotion or feeling that can make a person go as far as destroying and ruining the good things in their lives? Anger.
I know, weird, right? Something as small and mundane as feelings can weigh that heavy on a person’s life.
Finding it hard to believe? Well, then think about all the times you have hurt someone who has given you nothing but love while you were “angry,” or have you never reacted to a situation more than you should have just because you were mad? Because at least once in our lifetime, we make mistakes or decisions that we regret later because of this one emotion we feel.
But the question is, are you willing to help someone not make the mistakes that they might regret later? In simpler words, would you want to help someone who is furious? If your answer is yes, then you came to the right place! This article is going to help you help a friend out.
You can help a mad or angry person in various ways but keeping our current situation in mind (which is the pandemic), today we are going to discuss how to help someone who is mad over text.
We live in a time where technology has made our lives ten times easier than they used to be. All it takes is a few clicks here and there to help a person who might (potentially) make a mistake with very damaging results, and all thanks to our beloved technology.
But as far as the “how” is concerned, you do not need to worry about that; we have got you. So, these are a few tips/ pointers that will enable you to help someone who is mad through a keypad.
Also, feel free to check out my post on How To Comfort Someone Who Is Depressed Over Text + 22 texts examples
Comforting Someone Mad Over A Text Message
Tip no. 1: Give them some space:
Ah, only if I could emphasize it more, I would. Trust, you wouldn’t want to start talking to someone immediately after they got mad/ angry. In that exact moment, they are more like boiling lava than your friend, and you wouldn’t want the boiling lava to explode when you are standing right there, would you?
So let them be for a while, let them get their thoughts together because when a person is mad, their thoughts and what they consider right or wrong becomes hazy.
Tip no. 2: Do not, and I mean do not give your opinion of what’s right and wrong as of now:
Yes, you heard it right. Consider this a disclaimer for health and safety hazards. But jokes apart, this is a very important tip.
When someone is sharing their feelings with you, and you, in turn, start talking about what you think is valid or what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ they will either never open up to you again or argue with you more.
They don’t want to hear about what is correct or not. Most of the time, a person just wants someone to tell them that their feelings are valid, and after analyzing the situation, that’s what you should be doing.
Sharing your feelings and opinions is not the right choice, at least not yet. If you start correcting them, they might stop venting, and yet again, their negative thoughts might start playing tricks with them. So to avoid that, wait for the right time and then discuss (never impose) your thoughts and opinions on a matter.
“But then when?”
Well, it depends on every situation. But what you can do is, after they have completely vented their feelings out, try distracting them and change the topic a bit after making sure the fire has died down a bit, then bring up the topic and slightly discuss what was right and what was wrong without imposing anything.
After introducing them to the idea of what you considered was right, you can then have a further conversation about it with them some other day.
Tip no. 3: If you don’t already have their trust Try to gain their trust first:
Yes, that is it. The sentence pretty much says it all. Ask yourself, will you put your emotions/ feelings on display to someone who you think doesn’t care enough about you? Because most of the people cannot. Then how do you expect someone else to do so?
So The first thing you need to do is try connecting with them. They need to know that they can count on you. They will only vent out their anger and frustration when they see that they are talking to someone they trust. They will be more honest because even though anger seems like an extreme emotion, this is when a person is most vulnerable. And for many people showing their vulnerable side is a very difficult task.
So to gain their trust try sharing your own story or event (preferably relatable to their situation) and talk about it for a minute or two and then talk to them about their problem/issue. But make sure to keep it short and Don’t make them feel like you are making all of this about yourself. We wouldn’t want that, right?
Oh, and if you can’t remember an event similar to their situation, you can always make one up.
Tip no. 4: Try to talk less and listen more:
This rule pretty much applies to every situation. It doesn’t matter if a person is sad or mad, or lonely. When a person is opening up to you, it’s better if you let them talk more since they need to vent out their feelings because if they don’t, they will keep everything in their heart, which will then convert into anger.
So try to be a good listener (in this case, a good reader). However, while trying to be a good listener, try not to “overdo” it. Long silences can have the opposite impact, so make sure to chime in now and then, ask them questions that will make them talk more about things, and acknowledge what they are saying and what they are feeling.
Since you and the other person are texting, and this is not a face-to-face conversation, long silence from your side might make them think you aren’t there and that you are busy doing something else.
Remember, a deep conversation through text is all about balance if you want it to be done properly. If you talk too much, they might think you aren’t listening to what they are saying, and if you Don’t text enough, they still might think you are not listening, so be careful.
Tip no.5: Give them your undivided attention:
Ask yourself, are you giving them your undivided attention while having a conversation with them through text? If your answer is no, then this one’s for you.
If you are wondering why they are not venting out what’s going on in their mind properly, then this might be the reason. Because even though the conversation is being held through a text, it is very easily noticeable. This is important so that you can focus on studying their situation.
They can easily tell that you aren’t as interested as you show yourself to be and will choose not to say anything, or in some cases, they might turn this into an issue. The direction of their anger will turn to you, considering they are already in negative mind space. So beware of that.
Tip no.6: Time to move on:
Now, have they ultimately expressed or communicated their feelings? If yes, then it is time to move on. This is when you change the topic and make them feel a bit better.
You can’t let them carry this negative feeling all day long, now, can you? So try bringing up something that might cheer them up or struggling to do so. Just try having a regular conversation, for example, how your day went, etc. However, make sure that the transition from the “venting session” to your “regular conversation” is smooth.
So this was it, our guide on how to comfort someone over a text when they are mad. It is pretty easy if you come to think of it. However, I would like to say that after all the tips mentioned above is to be genuine.
Yes, you read it right; that is the main tip of all. A tip can either “make or break” the impact your conversation has on the other person. When you aren’t genuine with what you are saying, your words start to lose meaning, defeating the whole purpose of our conversation, doesn’t it?
So, try to be as genuine and “real” as you can be, follow our tips, and try not to push yourself too hard while trying to help someone else out because I wouldn’t want you to neglect yourself while being there for everyone else.
Hope I helped you out just like you are helping others out. Because at the end of the day, it is all about making this world a better place.